Likes: cigarettes, beer, food stamps, and really loud death metal. Dislikes: laws, cats, working, goals.

Hey ladies, it's your lucky day. Because if you're reading this, that means I'm still available... I'm active unemployed and loving it, let the taxpayer chumps pay the bill... I'm all natural, so grooming isn't really my thing... I have no vehicle and a suspended license, so you need to have a car..."

Just remember.... Age: 35. Body: Big.