Maine Becomes First State To Pass Minimum Weekly Allowance Law(Fiction)

Kids all over Maine celebrated today after Governor Paul LePage signed into law the new Minimum Weekly Allowance Act.  This piece of legislature calls for harsh punishment for any guardian who disobeys the law, ensures that children will always have a fair amount of pocket money, and promises allowance equality for both sexes.

The way this Modern Philosopher sees it, the kids of Maine pooled their allowances to hire the best lawyers available to them, and now that investment and trust in the legal process is going to ensure that they’ll never again have to beg and plead for some spending money.

Cy Brown, the famed Bangor lawyer that led the charge on behalf of Maine’s kids, told this Modern Philosopher that he has never before been so proud of any clients.  “It was obvious they busted open their piggy banks to retain my services, and I didn’t want to take their money, but they insisted.  They told me they had learned about the value of money, and understood this to be an excellent investment of their savings.  How could I not be excited to fight for these kiddos after that?”

Various parenting groups and church organizations put up a fight at first, but it soon became clear that Brown’s clients were on a mission.  “There was no way these guys were going to back down,” Brown told me over a celebratory Snapple on the front porch of The House on the Hill.  “Some nights, we’d conference call or Skype right up until their bed times, and they always urged me to never give up, and to never be intimidated.  They’d call me Mr. Brown and make me promise to brush my teeth and not stay up too late working on their behalf.  I haven’t been this passionate about a cause in a long time!”

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