UFO’s and a Mummy in Maine?

Another email filled my inbox this weekend from the Modern Philsopher. He tells me about a UFO crash in the hills of Maine and that a mummy was discovered at the crash site!

Dr. Brendan Fraser, a Maine Archaeologist who was the first expert to arrive on the scene, told this Modern Philosopher that he had no doubts that the tomb belonged to a member of Egyptian royalty.  “The writing’s literally on the wall, Austin,” he explained excitedly.  “I have only translated small sections at this point, but one very clearly reads ‘This is the final resting place of our great Pharaoh and his cats.  May they never be disturbed, unless, of course, someone discovers a way to bring them back to life.  Then, they should wake the Pharaoh so he can come back to Egypt and rule us again.  Just like old times’.”

How the heck did an Egyptian Pharaoh end up buried beneath the creepiest woods in Maine?  “Makes you think, doesn’t it?” Fraser asked with a smile.  “From what I’m reading, the Pharaoh came to the ‘great green land to enjoy life away from the sand’.  There’s also a very exciting passage about ‘the strange white magic that falls constantly from the sky and has bewitched the Pharaoh’.”

So the Pharaoh wintered in Maine and thought the snow was magic?  “It looks that way,” Fraser continued.  “Of course, the hieroglyphics also suggest that the Pharaoh died in a blizzard and might’ve been partially eaten by his cats.  I’m not done translating that part yet, but it seems to be the gist of it.”

 

To read more of this strange story click here