Because of Typo, New Maine Law Bans Baths Rather Than Bath Salts (Satire)

Mainers have been advised to limit themselves to showers, and to leave their bathtubs unused for the next few days until a typo in a new law can be corrected.  In the meantime, law enforcement officials can technically arrest anyone in the state who decides to take a bath.

The new law, meant to impose serious penalties for the use of the drug known as Bath Salts, was missing a key word when Governor LePage signed it into law today.

It goes without saying, Modern Philosophers, that Mainers are outraged over this latest bungling by Governor Paul LePage.  “How can we allow a man who doesn’t read what he signs to be the governor of this state?” questioned Zeus, the father of the Greek gods, who recently endorsed Mayor McCheese in the upcoming Maine Gubernatorial Election.  “I know a thing or two about being in charge, and this sort of gaffe is unacceptable.  I say we impeach him right now for gross incompetence!”

Zeus is not the only one calling for LePage’s head.  Parents Against LePage (PAL), an organization whose numbers grow exponentially with every new gubernatorial blunder, issued this statement today: “Parents Against LePage, and that should be every parent in the state of Maine, is appalled by this new law.  Many of us have infants and small children, and we rely on baths to keep them clean.  Why should the children of Maine risk jail time because the governor doesn’t take the time to read something before he signs it into law?”

Zeus was not the only celebrity at the forefront of the Bubbling Bath Crisis, as it is now being dubbed in the Maine media.  Mr. Bubble weighed in on the situation with this Modern Philosopher via Skype.  “Austin, the people of Maine need to rise up against this tyrant who is trying to deprive them of their bubble baths.  I will be in Maine tomorrow, and I promise to take a bubble bath on the front steps of the Maine State House.  I encourage other Mainers to join me.  Not in the same tub, of course.”

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