So I have a lot of feelings about this list of Maine's spider species.

Oddly enough, none of them revolve around a fear of spiders. I think they're just dandy. I mean, if there's one living in the corner of the window in my workshop, it usually meets it's fate with the shop vac. But if it's in some corner of the house somewhere, what do I care?

vacuum cleaner set vector illustration isolated on a white background

My wife on the other hand, she has absolutely zero appreciation for spiders. I often have to come from the other end of the house to kill a spider she doesn't want to deal with. And I have a buddy, who's a big muscle-y weight lifter type, and he practically faints at the sight of arachnids. Never mind the startling news this week that Maine is now home to a new species of Black Widow... Nothing to fear at all, right?

Wait... How many different species?!

Recently, I came across this bit from a couple years back on WABI about there being some 700 different species of spiders in Maine. Now, it being relatively close to Halloween, I really let my imagination run wild. I expected to hop online, and find this visual treasure trove of gnarly octo-peds. Like photos and videos and stuff. Or scary photos like this wolf spider with babies on its back...

Wolf Spider Caries her Babies on Back

But... It was nothing. It's was just an old fashioned list. Just Latin and dates and places. Ugh. BORING!!!! I get it... science needs to science, but I need to be scared of things because it's close to Halloween. I don't need to know about trachelas tranquillusI wanna see big spiders eating little ones. Or a big wolf spider wrapping up a june bug.

Again... It's Halloween season.

It couldn't hurt to maybe photoshop in some lasers instead of the webs. Maybe more people would get interested in spider science if there were the occasional laser. Not like anyone really thinks they shoot lasers, but you have to really sell it, you know? Halloween can't just sell itself.

Multicolored laser show

But, despite being the driest read that you'll only get through half a line of, it's an immense accomplishment that took years and dedication to complete. This is an invaluable resource to all arachnologists. Dr. Daniel Jennings and Entomologist Charlene Donahue gave 14 years of research to just this project. Amazing.

But seriously.... a little pizzazz couldn't hurt. And lasers. Definitely more lasers.

The whole Black Widow thing could be a game-changer...

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