New Study Finds That 100% Of College Kids Who Traveled To Maine For Spring Break Are Idiots

A new study released today by the College Travel Blog, Give Me a Spring Break!, found that Florida, Mexico, and the Bahamas were the top destinations of college students on this year’s Spring Break.

Nothing surprising about those results or the fact that beer sales, arrests, and cases of sexually transmitted diseases in those three locations were also off the charts.

What caught this Modern Philosopher’s attention was the paragraph in the study dedicated to students who had purchased vacation packages to travel to Maine for Spring Break. I had no idea such people existed, but according to the report, over 200 college kids who paid to fly to Maine for their break were surveyed.

100% of those collegians were deemed to be idiots according to the blog’s highly scientific formula and detailed research.

“I’m not sure how I got talked into vacationing here,” one student was quoted in the study. “All I know is that it was super cheap, it included a lobster dinner, and promised a Spring Break experience like no other.”

“I went for it because they told me I would meet Stephen King,” another coed admitted. “I’ve always wanted to party with that crazy dude.”

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