Man Arrested for Attempted Murder in Brewer

Police, this morning, raided a Brewer home not far from The House on the Hill, and arrested its owner after neighbors had reported sounds of a struggle coming from inside the house.  Timmy Scully was charged with attempted murder once police were able to subdue him and then revive his sorrows, which the man had been trying to drown in a giant bowl of Sangria.

“That was one damn huge bowl of Sangria,” commented Officer Mike Dow.  “It was like something you’d see at a high school dance for holding punch.  Except here, it was holding Sangria and being used as a murder weapon.”

Timmy had no comment, other than to repeat the word “Virginia” over and over.  This Modern Philosopher has family living in Virginia, and I can certainly relate to how that word could make a man want to drown something or someone.

To read more of this story click here