Maine Man Sues Family After He Doesn’t Win Powerball Jackpot (Satire)

Travis Hughes of Milford, Maine is fuming after not winning last night's $590M Powerball Jackpot.  This morning, he's done what every American apparently has the right to do...he's filed a lawsuit against his family and is suing them for $590M.

"My family knows how much I needed to win that jackpot, and that I was counting on it to settle some outstanding debts," Hughes told this Modern Philosopher this morning when we met in his lawyer's office.  "It's their fault I didn't win, so I am holding them legally responsible for my loss of earnings and demanding that they reimburse me."

I assumed that Mr. Hughes had a compelling reason for filing this suit, such as he was about to purchase a ticket with the winning numbers, when his family had somehow prevented him from doing so.  I asked him if he could elaborate.

"It's pretty simple," Hughes snapped back with obvious frustration in his voice.  "I played my family members' birthdays, ages, and lucky numbers.  I didn't win because none of them had the right birthdays, ages, or lucky numbers.  Don't you see?  It's all their damn fault.  They owe me because I need that money!"

To read the rest of the story click here