Lucky the Leprechaun Arrested for DUI

Lucky the Leprechaun, best known for being the spokesperson for Lucky Charms cereal, was arrested this morning in Southern Maine after a State Trooper noticed him driving erratically on I 95.

The Leprechaun, whose blood alcohol level was nearly three times the legal limit, cursed at the Trooper and told her that Leprechauns had higher metabolisms and could process alcohol more quickly than humans. When the trooper refused to let him drive off, the suspect then dropped his pants and threatened to “properly spank her with his mighty shillelagh”.

“He was not in possession of any weapon and none was found in his vehicle,” the Trooper, who asked to remain anonymous, later told this Modern Philosopher. “It is my belief that the suspect was making a lewd sexual threat, so I maced him

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