St. Patrick’s Day Weekend in Maine just got a little wilder and a lot more dangerous with the news that Irish Spring, the world renowned Succubus, who hails from Dublin, will be in Bangor performing at Diamonds Gentleman’s Club

Now I could warn the men of Maine what a Succubus is and what she does, but that would take all the fun out of her visit. Then again, I don’t think that there is much overlap between my readers and patrons of Diamonds. Still, I’ll keep it vague.

The last recorded visit to Maine by a Succubus was during the late 1960s, but that was a time of free love and a different way of thinking. From what this Modern Philosopher was able to find through hours of research, the women of Maine ran off the last of the Succubi and threatened them with certain death should they ever again set foot in Maine.

So why is one returning now? I decided to call Diamonds and ask the owners. “Dude, it’s St Paddy’s Day Weekend and this hot, Irish redhead wants to come to our club and dance. Of course we said yes,” I was told by one of the proprietors who had to scream in order for me to hear him over the thumping of the music in his club. “We’re expecting a record turnout. Remember, as always, ladies and members of the military get free admission.”

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