Royal Baby Offers A-Rod A Job Should He Get Suspended (Fiction)
His Royal Highness Prince George of Cambridge might be about to meet the only baby in the world more spoiled than he is…Alex Rodriguez.
This Modern Philosopher, and huge Yankees fan, has learned that The Royal Baby’s people contacted A-Rod’s people to offer the disgraced third baseman a job him should Major League Baseball suspend him for the Biogenesis scandal.
Word on the basepaths is that A-Rod is thrilled with the idea, and has asked his lawyer to begin negotiations. The former All-Star, infamous for his flamboyant, playboy lifestyle, is said to now be leaning towards accepting MLB’s suspension terms simply so he can flee to His Royal Toddlerness’ private island to party.
I contacted Lord Richard Stork, Prince Georgie Porgie’s Spokeslord, to ask him why a British toddler would have any interest in a buffoonish American baseball has been.
“His Highness and Future Ruler of the British Empire is drawn to this A-Rod chap,” Stork explained. “He sees a lot of himself in him. They are both filthy rich, good looking, used to living a charmed life, and forever harassed by the ghouls in the press. Plus, The Prince thinks he looks amazing in Yankees pinstripes.
My sources in The Royal Baby’s staff tell me that there’s more to the story. “The Prince wants to be a lady’s man just like his Dad and Uncle,” a food taster explained. “He knows Mr. Rodriguez has had quite the success with the ladies and seeks to learn from him. Also, Prince George doesn’t like how he looks with all his baby fat, so he’d like Mr. A-Rod to help him to bulk up and turn all that flab into muscle.”
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