This Modern Philosopher was called to an emergency meeting of the local Witch Coven this morning to discuss the shellacking the Brewer Witches took in the opening game of the 2013 Maine High School Football Season.

The boys from Brewer High, the local school for The House on the Hill, were crushed 47-2 by Brunswick.  To make matters worse, the game was played in Brewer and took place on the opening night of the annual Brewer Days Celebration.

The meeting, which was held at the Three Toads & A Wicked Lady Bar in downtown Bangor (ironically, Brewer doesn’t have any Witch Bars), was led by my close friends Waltzing Matilda, Ti-Diana, and Volcanica Ivy.

“Last night’s game was an embarrassment not only for our high school athletes, their friends, and families, but also for all Maine Witches,” Waltzing Matilda declared.

Everyone in attendance nodded in agreement.

“It took every last ounce of my self control to not cast a spell or ten to help out favorite team look less…overwhelmed,” Ti-Diana added.

“We should discuss if there needs to be some Magical intervention to help save the season,” Volcanica Ivy finally said what was on everyone’s minds.  “It’s not like Witches haven’t gotten involved before to help Mainers in need…”

That set off a very long and heated discussion as to the duties and responsibilities of Maine’s Witches when it came to the football team named in their honor.

“I could see the players looking to us during the game,” Waltzing Matilda confessed.  “They had the saddest looks on their faces, and seemed to be pleading for us to get involved.”

I should point out that shortly before the game, Brewer High School’s Principal came up into the bleachers to address the Coven.  He asked that the Witches not use their Magic to help the football Witches on the field because the boys needed to learn how to win based on their own abilities.

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