King & Queen Of Milford Senior Prom Welcome Their Royal Baby (Fiction)

I’m embarrassed to report, Modern Philosophers, that I was the only member of the media on hand at Eastern Maine Medical Center today when Milford High School’s Royal Baby was born.

Born to Prom Queen Virginia Green and Prom King Timmy Hopkins, Timmy, Jr or “TJ” as his mother likes to call him, entered this world at 5:15pm and weighed in at 9lbs, 1oz.

“We’re thrilled that he came out happy and healthy,” the beaming father told this Modern Philosopher as we shared a celebratory Snapple out in the hall.

It wasn’t lost on King Timmy, however, that the birth of Milford’s Royal Baby did not attract nearly the media attention that the birth of England’s Royal Baby did just a few days ago.  “I guess the reporters are still wicked busy over in England covering that story, right?” he said with a sadness in his voice as he kept checking over my shoulder to see if more members of the press were about to burst onto the floor.  “I guess it’s just our luck that our little guy wasn’t born first.”

Despite his disappointment with the media coverage, Timmy was still extremely excited and wore his Prom King crown proudly.  “I’m not going to take this thing off until the docs tell me it’s safe to put on Timmy, Jr’s head.  Can’t wait to do that.”

Like most typical Maine love stories, our Royal Couple first met in sixth grade and have been inseparable since.  “I still remember it like it was yesterday,” Queen Virginia told me as I sat next to her hospital bed.  “He came in on the first day of class wearing a Yankees hat, when all the other boys were wearing Red Sox hats.  I knew right then that he was the guy who’d be taking me to my Senior Prom.   I’d always had a soft spot for the rebels, and it didn’t hurt that he was so easy on the eyes.”

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