Jaws Comes to Maine? Fiction
The Maine Tourism Board is operating at Code Red status today after reports of a shark attack on a couple in a bar has left the rest of this Summer’s Tourism business in series jeopardy.
This Modern Philosopher has learned that Linda and Allen Shapero of Richmond, VA were enjoying a quiet, romantic drink in a quaint Bar Harbor establishment went the attack took place.
“We were just sitting at our table, minding our own business after an amazing day in Bar Harbor, when the shark just came over and shoved my husband in the shoulder,” Linda explained to me as she dabbed at the tears in her eyes. “Allen is not at all a violent man, and he did nothing to instigate the shark’s attack.”
Eye witnesses agree with Linda’s version of events. Apparently, two Great White Sharks had been sitting at the bar most of the afternoon, drinking Rum and Cokes, and watching the Red Sox game.
“We’ve come to Maine every Summer for the past eight years,” Allen picked up the story and pointed at his black eye and bandaged nose. “Never before had we had anything other than the most wonderful time. We’d never seen a shark, let alone been attacked by one.
Multiple witness accounts reveal that Allen tried to ignore the shark, but that only made the Great White more belligerent. The shark then accused the man of giving him dirty looks all afternoon (which would’ve been impossible since Allen’s back was to the bar where the sharks were seated), and when Allen asked the shark to leave, the beast sucker punched him.
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