Bangor’s New Cloning Store Offers 2 for 1 Special (Fiction)
The doors opened today on Maine’s first Cloning Store, and this Modern Philosopher was one of the first in line to take a gander at the place. Located on Stillwater Avenue in Bangor, right across the street from the Bangor Mall, Tyrell’s Clones is difficult to miss. The store looks like something out of a Sci Fi flick, and I kept waiting for Harrison Ford or George Lucas to run out to greet me.
Instead, I was greeted by Dr. Eldon Tyrell, the store’s owner and the magnificent mind that mastered the art of cloning. Tyrell was more than happy to give me a tour of the store and his top secret facility, which is housed in a bunker beneath his place of business.
It was in Tyrell’s bunker office that I conducted my interview. The whole time, my host kept an eye on business via the dozens of monitors mounted on the walls.
“I’ve been intrigued at the idea of cloning ever since I was boy growing up as an only child,” Tyrell explained. “I always wished I’d had a sibling, but then the more I saw my friends interact with their brothers and sisters, the more I realized I really wished I’d had a twin. I wanted an exact copy of me, so I’d know for sure we’d have everything in common and always want to be together. No sibling rivalry, just mutual admiration.”
Tyrell tried to explain the basics of cloning, and showed me plenty of charts, graphs, and computer simulations, but I have to admit that it all went completely over my head. I might be a Deep Thinker, but my host was thinking thoughts deeper than an abyss.
“Clones should be very popular, especially now that it’s Summer,” Tyrell told me, and I was relieved to once again be able to follow the conversation. “Who wants to work when the weather is so beautiful? Why not send your clone to the office while you head to the beach, go on a vacation, or just stay home and do a little grilling?”
I could definitely get behind that concept, and volunteered that in Winter, clones could be sent out to shovel the snow, start up the car, or take the kids sledding. He nodded emphatically, clearly happy that I understood why clones were a good thing.
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