Dear Holiday Shoppers Behind the Wheel,

In case you didn't get the memo, it's the season of giving and good cheer. Not the season of cursing and cutting people off. And we won't even get into the hand gestures!

Your horn is not a polite way to say 'Happy Holidays,' but rather a good way to seriously tick off the other drivers. Especially when they're sitting at a stop light, waiting to turn, and you blast your horn the second the red light turns green. You're very lucky, fellow driver, that I didn't calmly sit until I was sure it was going to turn back to red and then bolt across the lane, leaving you to sit through another cycle. Consider that my Christmas gift!

When sitting at a red light, it doesn't reflect good will to keep the line as tight as possible, preventing motorists from entering from the side. If you let me squeeze in front of you, I promise not to dawdle so you won't be delayed more than a few moments on your journey.

Of course, parking is another issue. I know that spot in the lot is perfect! And, look! The mother is loading her packages, taking the cart to the corral, taking her child out of the cart, returning to her minivan, putting the child in the car seat, getting into the driver's seat, checking her lipstick in the mirror, turning around to talk to her kid, reaching for the diaper bag to give the child a binkie, starting the car, adjusting the heat, and finally starting to back out. If you want to sit and wait for that spot, more power to you! It's only a few steps from the door! Jackpot! But could you please pull your car to one side of the lane, so other drivers who are not so fortunate can get by you? I mean, sitting behind you for ten minutes so YOU can get a great spot is like opening a huge Christmas package only to discover it contains a prank lottery ticket telling you you've won ten thousand dollars. It's just going to make us angry.

This just scratches the surface of the traffic problems created by over-anxious last-minute shoppers, but you get the idea. Keep that feeling of good will toward men (and women) in your heart as you head out. Smile at the other drivers, even when they shake their finger(s) at you. Wave (ALL fingers) when they honk their horns. And go home knowing that you've done your best to keep Christmas in your Chevrolet, Holidays in your Hyundai, or Benevolence in your Buick! Merry Christmas!


A Tired Toyota Driver